How do you take the “negative” feelings out of losing…or is it essential to learning how to win by losing? A lot of parents place their kids in higher divisions (too soon) in hopes of getting them better competition but end up teaching their kids how to lose…or give up. How do they get over it in the normal sense without losing their competitive edge or self-esteem?
A. (Robert Lansdorp)
First of all I don’t see how you can learn how to win by losing. That is not how it works. The great players hate to lose so much for whatever reason, that they just refuse to lose and try to win. Maybe the only thing you can learn from losing is what you have to work on to get better. But you have to start out by hating to lose.
Playing up for better competition is a very, and I mean very bad idea. If you dominate your age group and have no more competition, you can play up, but you have to dominate your age group. Lots of parents have their kids play up because there is less pressure. If you can’t handle the pressure, go play a team sport. You can blame your team mates. Like the Marine league ladies playing doubles and always blaming their partner. Always.
You can’t run away from pressure , you have to learn how to cope with it. If they lose all the time they are bound to lose self-esteem. Girls will find boyfriend and boys find a different sport or maybe a girlfriend. The tough kids will find ways to improve . Maybe get in better shape. Most kids are in lousy shape, so that’s where you can improve, or become more consistent by practicing more, and more focused and take lessons.
But in short; some kids are just mentally enormous fighters and they will fight for every point. Just remember my motto, CONSISTENCY, PLACEMENT, POWER.
I ask the kids after they are stupid enough to give an opponent a point, how many points do they have to win to get ahead? This is where you quickly find out if your dealing with a pea brain. So they say 2 and you say great. At least the kid has brains. Then I say so ok that is a 2 to 1 ratio, Right ? Every time you are stupid enough to give the kid a point, you have to win 2. Then I give the kid 5 twenty-dollar bills and I keep 1. I give him or her my one $20 and they have to give me back two $20’s. I continue with that until after 10 seconds I have all my money back and they look lost. I tell them than that is what will happen to them . They will have nothing No win and No money. So if you are losing a lot, do Something about it and don’t sit there and cry.